My name is Dudeman and I’m here to lay it down on how outsiders view paintball in Hawaii.
Anything read here is strictly opinion and I hope to raise a little controversy. So enjoy..
Dudeman Goes Pballing for the first time in HI.
When I left California for paradise, I didn’t think I could go paintballing because it would cost too much. Calculating costs, I figured it would cost at least $150 each time I went due to having a crazy fast gun. So I left all my gear at home. 1.5 years later, I went back home and went pballing with the old crew plus Tommy, a student of mine that I used to tutor back in the day.
We went in January and I sucked. I spent the last 1.5 years being a manwhore and completely forgot how to do most of my old hobbies. So we went and I sucked so bad that when Tommy kept on asking me to play 1 on 1, I kept on giving him excuses because I knew that he would have destroyed me; I didn’t want to give him that satisfaction. Yeah, I know you’re going to read this Tom, ol’ boy.
While I was in California, my great friend The Meakman improved his pump game like a mofo. He was already way way better than the rest of us, but now he was able to compete with other people that were really good. And it inspired me. Pump. It’s cheaper and requires more skill; I’m game.
So I came back to Hawaii and looked for a used pump gun and The Meakman referred me to this guy that The Meakman talks to online about pumping and I went over to his place and picked up a gun from the guy. The guy is one of the few real Hawaiians that I have met. He is known for his skillful tuning of guns, and he invited me to go ballin’ with his crew. But I was short gear. And even though I was short gear, he offered to loan me his gear. We will call him Pumpmaster.
This has happened to me on several occasions. When Brian bought his gun from a guy off of the internet, he offered to take us pballing, and even let us use his gear since we were short gear. And a person I emailed off of Craigslist offered to loan me gear to go pballing with his crew. That is how nice people in HI are; and it gets crazier as this story progresses.
So I show up and Pumpmaster bought me breakfast. He knows me because I’m a friend of one of his internet friends (Meakman) and he bought me breakfast. People in HI are too nice. It gets crazier..
We balled it up at this place on Bellows Air Force Station. And because it was on base, we had to wait for an escort to take us in, which sucked. Bellows has two fields. A rec-ball map and a speed ball map. People in HI get mad when you call it a “map” because that’s what they’re called in video games. They prefer “field.”
At first, I didn’t know that there was a speedball map so I played on the large recball map for my first few games. I hate recball. It’s too much like war. You just shoot in a general direction and don’t know if you tagged anyone out. And you never really know where the balls are coming from are. I prefer speed ball; it’s like playing tag and it’s fast.
I found the speedball map when I was walking around looking for a toilet to pee in and we started playing on it. I played Pumpmaster’s friend, who we will call OldSchool. OldSchool is older, with kids, and only plays with hella hella old school guns. He had a Dye barrel that was so old, it was like two pounds, and solid steel. This was the only guy the whole day that I could not tag. His shot was crazy accurate.. and it pissed me off because my crappy ass paint kept on bouncing off him. At the end of the day, he let me shoot his marker. It was an old school pump ‘cocker and it had a red dot sight on it that was DEAD ON. You just put the dot on your target, hold steady, and pull the trigger. And then you get to watch the ball arc up and land right on the dot. It was insane. I was shooting into holes all the way across the field with that sight. And so, I am going to drop a lot of money on a sick ass sight.
We played 5 on 5; pumps vs. semis and we destroyed them. I felt like a god, but we only destroyed them because they were little kids... too bad they don’t know I suck like a mofo and anyone I know back home could rape me without trying.
A lot of people play pump in HI. I saw a little kid with the new CCM S6.
The absolute coolest thing that happened today was when I went back to the table to reload my pballs and when I opened the box, my bag was gone. I thought they got jacked. When I verbalized this to OldSchool, he was shocked. But then I found my bag; it was on the table. “Brah, that would’ve been the first time that has ever happened…”
Pumpmaster left a duffel bag with an HPA tank in it, cell phones, and lord knows what in there that could’ve been stolen in two seconds. That’s insane. You can’t even put your gun down for a second in California; it’ll be gone when you turn your back.
That and the fact that we were playing in Hawaii with the beach a couple hundred yards away. It was surreal. That beach had some serious blue water.
The marker I was using today that The Meakman told me to buy, which is the marker that Pumpmaster built, got tons of compliments on the field. People were asking me how much I spent on it and if they could shoot a couple of balls. It looks like an old ass hunk of junk to me. I would have gone with the latest and greatest pump.
There is a field here that had $50 for air for a year. I’m going to go buy that next week.
I shot half a case of paint today. Half a case. And I was pumping like a maniac. The AT is awesome. There was no way I could have advanced without it. I even shot out two guys off the break with it (one of them was Pumpmaster). The AT lets you pin down guys as you run up to bunker them. AT should be the first thing you get on a pump gun or the first thing you look for in a pump gun. I would’ve been a dead man walking up against the semis without it.
Bellows Review (per request by someone on this board):
The field has two maps. One giant recball map and one small speedball map. The field was very family oriented, which was very pleasant, but lacked the competitiveness that I’m used to in California. I mean, it was fun to shoot up little kids, but I’d prefer to play against a more competitive crowd.
The field is FPO (field paint only) and that’s lame. I wouldn’t have minded it as much, but I bought the most expensive paint they had and although they are good balls, they sucked due to age or humidity or something. They need to keep their paint somewhere with a dehumidifier.
The only thing that really made me scared was the lack of goggle enforcement. When you walked onto the giant recball map, you had to have your goggles on, but when you got to the staging area, everyone, even the refs, had their masks off. That’s a big no no in the insurance world.
Second, when I played on the small speedball map, which was really fun, they sent over a ref for us; which was a sweet little girl that could really yell, but NO ONE wore goggles. There is a large net where you would be somewhat safe if you stood directly behind it, but while there was a game going, the little girl ref and EVERYONE else would stand exposed and watch the game. I tried to tell them to put their goggles down or stand behind the net, but they were stupid.
Paintball is the safest sport in existence (See here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paintball), and I would like to keep it that way so that more girls would play. I recommend this field for recreational players or new players who want a taste of what it’s like to paintball. I also recommend this field for guys who want to take their girlfriends paintballing. (just make sure your loved ones are wearing goggles at all times on any map.)
To make it better, they should:
1) Strictly enforce the use of goggles and barrel condoms
2) Allow players to bring their own paint or get a wider selection of paint and keep their paint somewhere with a dehumidifier.
3) Sell annual air and annual admission, but this is for every field. The first place that offers annual air and admission will win me as a regular every week plus all of my friends and anyone I come across that is interested in playing paintball.
Play it long and play it strong,
Dudeman
